


Excuses, Excuses

by EzraTheBlue



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Blow Jobs, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Showers, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-28 04:22:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16716522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EzraTheBlue/pseuds/EzraTheBlue
Summary: Goku likes taking care of Sanzo. He just needs an excuse to do it.





	Excuses, Excuses

**Author's Note:**

  * For [illegalitygirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/illegalitygirl/gifts).



> Happy birthday to Chandabeard/illegalitygirl! I've been on an h/c kick, so I exploited it and added some fluff and smut just for you!
> 
> No beta, all remaining mistakes are mine.

**Excuses, Excuses**

The mornings when they could sleep were best. It was such a rare thing, too, there always needed to be an excuse. Today, the excuse was three broken ribs and one concussion. Sanzo had the broken ribs. Hakkai had the concussion. If it were the other way around, Sanzo might insist Hakkai patch him up and keep pushing west with Gojyo in the driver's seat, but Hakkai had been too dizzy and sick to do more than rudimentary healing, and Goku and Gojyo had to patch their own scratches and scrapes with bandages. Gojyo only took them as far as the nearest town from the scene of their latest disaster before insisting they all rest.

“Hakkai said,” Gojyo had muttered through the door to their shared room, “keep Baldy still, don't let him move too much while the bones are still setting up. He'll give him another run with the qi when he can walk more than ten paces without the room spinning.” Then, he'd closed the door tight and went back to watching Hakkai sleep.

Despite the excuses, it was still worth it to Goku. In a way, the excuses made it more worth it. Goku got to sleep next to Sanzo, bracing him tight to keep him from twisting around. It felt a lot like cuddling. Sanzo would have refused this kind of soft treatment if he weren't injured.

Sanzo hadn't minded the occasional blowjob or mutual jerk-off session, not since he and Goku had reunited after being separated by that dark Sanzo. It had started almost by accident, the two of them arguing until yelling in each other's faces turned into kissing and then there was no going back. Now, it was just mutual release with the person the other trusted more than any other, but Goku had to wheedle his way into kisses and cuddles. Sometimes, when the sweat was cooling on his skin, he wanted a warm arm around his back. Sanzo always withdrew, stumbling off to clean up without touching any of Goku more than he had to. Sometimes, when Goku did manage to sling an affectionate arm around Sanzo's chest in the afterglow, Sanzo would shiver and quake.

“Don't touch me like that,” was what he'd said when Goku had asked him what was wrong. Goku understood. Gentle touches were abrasive because Sanzo didn't know what to feel about them.

When Sanzo was injured, he didn't object to Goku sleeping all wrapped around him. Not until he woke up.

“Hey.” Goku opened his eyes when he felt Sanzo pushing at his arm, a little frantic but not too hard. “You're heavy. Off.”

Goku reluctantly slid off, but took his pillow and tucked it under Sanzo's back. “Just stay here, okay?” He stood, rearranging the blankets behind him to keep Sanzo tucked in as he moved, and Sanzo grimaced as he shifted his back up to sit. Goku held back a wince as the sheet slid off of Sanzo's chest, revealing the bandages he'd patched on him the day before. His wrapping job wasn't especially neat, but functional, however, the night of tossing and turning left the bandages with little streaks of dried blood that had soaked through. Goku pulled the sheet back up his chest and patted it down there, hand over his heart.

“G'morning, Sanzo.” He let his hand linger there a second longer, then withdrew, smiling for Sanzo's sake if not because he was happy to wake up beside him no matter what the circumstance. “Let me get you some breakfast, okay? Black coffee okay?”

Sanzo's mouth twitched, and he mumbled something. Goku cocked his head a little, and he tersely repeated, “Sugar. Just a little.”

That was practically a white flag for Goku. Sanzo asking for any kind of tenderness whatsoever. “Just a little? You got it.” Goku leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, then hop-skipped away to head for the kitchen. Sanzo hadn't flinched at the kiss at all, which only confirmed it for Goku.

Sanzo didn't need to ask. He shouldn't have ever had to ask, but now he was and Goku would give.

Goku managed to rustle up a tray, and stirred a big spoonful of sugar into the coffee. He found that Hakkai had left some chopped scallions and a note of apology with a bottle of pain reliever medicine attached, and topped their congee with the onions and tucked the note away for later. Sanzo hadn't moved when Goku returned, breathing shallowly as if he feared any deeper might hurt. Goku propped him up with a few more pillows, and set the tray on his thighs. “Can you lift your arms enough?”

Sanzo scowled at Goku, then at the tray. “I'll manage. I don't need you to feed me.” Goku hummed a little, but sat back as Sanzo tucked in. He watched Sanzo eat with much more interest than he put into eating his own food. If Sanzo did need help, Goku would hop right to. He saw Sanzo grimace every time he lifted the spoon to his lips, but he could have sworn he was smiling after he took a good sip of the coffee.

It took Sanzo a long time to eat, but it gave Goku a chance to clean up and get things ready. He set out Sanzo's clothes in case he was okay to dress and got fresh towels, and asked the front desk clerk if she could assure them some privacy in the bathhouse: “My friend is hurt pretty bad, I want him to be comfy.” By the time he got back, Sanzo had pushed the tray away and cast an aspersive look at Goku.

“Took your time.”

“So did you.” Goku stuck his tongue out at Sanzo as he picked up the bowl. Sanzo had drained his coffee, but the porridge was half-eaten. He couldn't help a little wince, but he showed the bowl to Sanzo. “And you didn't even finish.”

Sanzo scoffed and turned his head away. “It was plain. Needed soy sauce or ...” He gesticulated without looking at Goku, clearly aware that Goku wouldn't believe whatever he said even after prevaricating. “... something.”

“I'll ask if they have mayonnaise for ya tomorrow.” Goku knew it was an excuse, and not even a good one, but it would be pointless to try to make Sanzo eat more. Hopefully Hakkai would feel well enough to make something he'd like and motivate Sanzo to eat despite the pain. “The lady at the desk said the bathhouse was quiet right now. You wanna get a shower?”

Sanzo groused quietly under his breath about 'like a damn baby' and 'not that weak,' as Goku pulled the sheets back and helped him get a bathrobe on. Goku lifted Sanzo up and loaded his arm and chest onto his shoulder to help him down the hall to the bathhouse. Sanzo didn't even bother complaining, and Goku took what pleasure he could in feeling Sanzo's body against his back. He knew Sanzo was only allowing this because he was hurt.

He pulled a stool into the shower stall so Sanzo could sit while he unwrapped the bandages. “Stop that.” Sanzo tried to swat his hands off, but Goku, steady and sure, kept going. “I can do it myself, you damn chimp.”

“Yeah, but I want to, and you can't stop me.” Goku kept unraveling, under the arm, around the shoulder, behind the back. Sanzo would have had to twist around a lot to do it on his own, and any resistance he was putting up was token at best. Self-required, expected, but ultimately pointless. Goku let his fingers run over Sanzo's skin a little, enjoying being allowed to touch him, if only with the excuse of 'Sanzo needs this.' The way Sanzo relaxed as he steadied his hand on Sanzo's back to unbind the bottom layer of bandages told him how much Sanzo really did need this.

Goku knew he tended to be a little rough, but he knew how to touch soft, delicate things. He could pet a kitty, he could hold glass, and he could wash an injured Sanzo. He was very careful as he scrubbed out the gouges and scrapes on Sanzo's back and sides, rinsing each part of him off with lukewarm water from a bucket. He heard Sanzo whimpering just a little as Goku washed his hair, stifling himself by sealing his lips tight, and Goku tried to ease up his massage. “Is the water okay? Too hot, too cold?”

“You can't tell?” Sanzo grimaced again, still not quite looking at Goku, and Goku poured water over his hair.

“I think it's fine.” Sanzo's head inclined just enough that Goku knew he'd nod if his pride would bend far enough to let him. Sanzo just needed more gentle. He knelt down in front of Sanzo to look into his eyes, to let him see his encouraging smile, an unspoken 'I've got you' plain in his confidence. “You want me to turn off the spray so you can rinse?”

“What, don't you know how showering works?” Sanzo tried to look sour, then hung his head again, so Goku couldn't even be upset with him. As much as Sanzo wanted to be strong and proud, sometimes he just couldn't, and that frustration made him lash out. Goku swore his lower lip was wobbling a little, and he bit it for a second before spitting out. “Just ... help me stand.”

Sometimes he probably wanted to be taken care of a little anyway.

Goku supported Sanzo's chest against his as the spray of the shower ran down his back, bearing Sanzo's weight as easily as his own. He could hear Sanzo's labored breathing in his ear, could feel his lungs rattle with the strain. If he whimpered when Goku touched over his ribs, Goku wouldn't say a word about it. Instead, Goku rubbed his back in the guise of rinsing the soap away, as if his palm could soothe away his pains, if not his insecurities and nerves.

Goku patted Sanzo dry, cupping his hands and keeping his touches light and soft as Sanzo shivered, then drew a bathrobe around him from behind. “There ya go,” he murmured as he toweled Sanzo's hair. To his surprise, Sanzo didn't try to stop him that time. Sanzo even seemed to lean into it a little, as Goku fluffed his hair, then combed it out for him. Then, Sanzo let Goku carry him back.

Hakkai was waiting for them when they got back, seemingly propped against the wall with his eyes closed. He opened one as Goku approached with Sanzo loaded on his shoulder, and pushed himself to a wobbly stand and hailed them with a little wave. “How are you feeling?”

“Like stale piss,” Sanzo muttered, and pushed himself away from Goku to shuffle to the door on his own power. “You here to fix me up right?”

“I'm afraid I'm not at one-hundred yet, myself.” Hakkai shook his head, then lifted a hand to his brow. “I'm here to do what more I can.” Goku winced, and Sanzo glanced sideways, but huffed.

“Then do what you can. I can hardly breathe like this.” He pushed the door open, and Goku hurried in after him to help him into his clothes. Sanzo brushed him off, but snatched up his denims and pushed his wallet towards him. “Don't bother with those. Go get me a newspaper and some smokes.”

Hakkai managed a weary laugh. “You can hardly breathe, but smoking ...” He trailed off, sounding tired. Goku gave him a gentle pat on the back.

“You want me to pull a chair over so you can sit while you work?”

“That would be lovely, thank you.” Hakkai's gratefulness shone in his expression despite his dulled eyes, and Goku ran to grab a chair from the kitchen. Sanzo had laid down flat, pants on but top still off as Hakkai examined his wounds. “You've done a good job keeping these clean.”

“He doesn't stop fussing,” Sanzo muttered, but the rebuke lacked its usual bite.

“It's important.” Goku set the chair down, and Hakkai looked relieved to recline as he worked. Sanzo just scoffed and turned his head away.

“Just get out, you're only in the way.” No fire in it. Goku knew he didn't mean it. That was just Sanzo's way of saying “I don't want you to have to hear me scream.”

Goku bought Sanzo's cigarettes and a few newspapers, and bought a comic for himself. He knew Sanzo would want the distraction. He also made sure to take way longer than he had to. When he did get back, Hakkai was gone, but there was a lunch tray for him and Sanzo was asleep in fresh bandages. Goku smoothed his hair back, kissed his forehead – a tender little gesture Sanzo rejected when he was awake – and pulled the sheets up around him close.

Then, he settled in to watch Sanzo rest.

There was no way around it being a boring day, but sometimes, Goku didn't mind it. Sanzo liked the peaceful quiet moments, and Goku had come to appreciate the heavy quiet that sat between them. It wasn't like the stark silence of the mountain, but warm and comfortable like a futon. This was just an excuse to sit and listen to Sanzo breathing and re-read the entirety of the comic series he'd been collecting, or at least the pages that weren't ruined with blood. Sanzo woke eventually, to find the newspapers Goku had left on the bedside table.

“You bought too many.” Sanzo set his jaw hard, his mouth a firm line, then leafed through them. “Different publishers?”

“I figured they'd have different articles.” Goku grinned over the edge of his manga. “Plus different publishers put out different puzzles.”

“Huh.” Sanzo sat up carefully (though not wincing this time, Goku noticed), and opened the first as he shifted from the middle of the bed to the right. “It's something to do. Good thinking.”

Goku hoped that was a 'thank you.' He chose to take it as one, and took the gratitude as an invitation to sit next to him. He settled himself on the mattress next to Sanzo, and Sanzo gradually slumped, muttering haltingly about “still damn sore,” and let his head rest on Goku's shoulder.

He needed the excuse, and Goku let him have it, smiling contently just to have Sanzo near him.

Tomorrow, there wouldn't be excuses. Sanzo would be up to himself again, on his feet and grousing his way around, complaining about how much time they'd lost and how they'd be doddering old men by the time they got the job done at this rate, and though Goku would know he was only expressing his frustration with having to be on the road this long, it didn't mean that it would sting any less. However, he would take it with a smile, if only because he had these peaceful memories and this private knowledge of Sanzo. Even if these lazy mornings and quiet afternoons came with caveats. Goku was a different person in these moments, too, the kind of person who liked just lazing in bed with the person he adored.

He wanted to think Sanzo loved him back. He wanted to believe Sanzo secretly enjoyed this serenity too. He wanted to believe Sanzo liked making excuses, if only a little.

He had reasons to believe it.

He slept wrapped around Sanzo that night again, using that same excuse of “keeping him from moving if he tossed and turned,” but though he could sleep through nearly everything from youkai attacks to tumbles in the Jeep, there were two things that never failed to wake him, and one of them was Sanzo rubbing his back in his sleep. The other was the smell of frying pork belly, but he wasn't hungry for meat, not at Sanzo's intimate touch, and certainly not at that lusty look glimmering in Sanzo's eyes in the dark.

“I can't sleep,” he murmured, his voice thick with lust. Goku lifted his chest to look a little closer at Sanzo, shifting the sheets back and letting his gaze search Sanzo in the moonlight that cut through the curtains. Sanzo was usually rigid, all hard angles, but now, he seemed pliable and delicate under Goku's touch. Sanzo shifted his hips indicatively against Goku's thigh. “Do something about it.”

Sanzo's rough words didn't disguise his intent. Goku slid his hand up and over his chest. “Need somethin'?” He cupped Sanzo's cheek in his hand as he rolled to hover over him. Sanzo inhaled sharply, gaze wavering, and Goku leaned down and brushed his lips over Sanzo's, chaste but not without intent. Sanzo chased him with a kiss returned, lifting his head to capture Goku's mouth for a second.

“Go easy. Just for tonight.” His eyes fluttered shut as Goku traced his jawline. “I'm not healed enough.” He lifted an arm to wrap it around Goku's back, shifting his legs apart, and Goku realized this was an invitation. Sanzo needed something he could only ask of from Goku, if only for tonight. Goku liked excuses like this.

He kissed over Sanzo's jaw and ran his fingertips down Sanzo's chest, caressing his pectoral muscles with his thumbs. Sanzo was unusually soft, accepting Goku's soft kisses and only shivering a little as he slid the pads of his thumbs over to Sanzo's nipples. Goku traced little circles there, swallowing Sanzo's soft little cries at his touches. Sanzo's mouth tasted like salt and smoke, not good, but wonderful because it was Sanzo. Goku couldn't resist tasting him when Sanzo would let him. Even so, he left Sanzo panting, his mouth hot in the chilled midnight air, and ran his fingers down over the bandages around Sanzo's chest, then through the thin, fine hairs at the base of his hips. Sanzo grabbed Goku's forearms, fingers trembling, as Goku carefully worked his button loose and slid his blue jeans down to his knees, tickling his thighs with little swirls of his fingers, then eased them off. He kissed over Sanzo's navel as he pushed his pants away, licking and nibbling at the soft skin just a little. Sanzo whimpered just a little, but his fingers carded into Goku's hair and gripped at his scalp. Goku glanced up.

“Is it okay? Feels good?”

Sanzo couldn't speak, but managed a soft hum that sounded positive. “Nod if you're okay for more.” Goku would take a 'yes' in any form, and Sanzo was so easy when he had an excuse to be. He nodded jerkily, then bit his lip and thrust his hips involuntarily, and Goku eased out of Sanzo's grip to sit up a little so he could take in the flush in his cheeks. These moments of submission, of admission, were so precious and rare, so Goku had to relish them while they lasted. 

Goku slid his hand up over Sanzo's chest again, then licked a trail down to where the soft hair on his belly met the coarse hair around his nearly-filled cock. Sanzo let go of Goku's arms and gripped the sheets, and Goku teased at the base of his erection and kissed the shaft. Sanzo's mouth was delicious, but his skin was savory, and licking at the tip of his dick never failed to make him drool a little. He was salt and earth, so familiar. Goku braced his hands next to Sanzo's hips, carefully knelt up over him, and closed his lips around the tip of Sanzo's dick. Sanzo smothered a cry into clenched teeth, but Goku took and squeezed his hand tight, then took Sanzo's dick all the way into his mouth. That made Sanzo moan aloud, and Goku gave his hand another squeeze, then slid his other fingers between Sanzo's spread legs. He left off sucking Sanzo's dick for just long enough to suck his own fingers, then prodded the tip of his index finger at Sanzo's hole. Sanzo thrashed and moaned again – he could be so damn easy sometimes. Every touch was like fire when Sanzo needed it, and he craved like a starved man offered a single crumb of bread.

Goku knew Sanzo too often pushed away kind touches, or any kind of kindness whatsoever, because he didn't want others to think him weak enough to need them. He did need them, Goku knew, and Goku would accept any excuse he had to give them to him.

Goku slid his middle finger into Sanzo's hole as he sucked his cock down again, and crooked his finger as he pressed his tongue into the vein of Sanzo's dick. Sanzo squirmed, gripping his hand and the mattress, fingernails digging in, and nonsense that was somewhere between begging for mercy and pleading for more. Goku tasted salty precome, swallowed around Sanzo's dick (and Sanzo moaned when Goku got him all the way into the back of his throat), then slowly began to work his asshole with his middle finger, in and out, and curving his finger inward. Sanzo's body clenched around him, and Goku couldn't keep from groaning into the skin of Sanzo's belly, but he sucked Sanzo deep and hard, then pushed a second finger in on the next thrust.

Sanzo cried out again, back arching and pushing himself into Goku's throat. “Shit – Goku!” Goku took Sanzo's length with familiar ease, awash with near hypnosis at the familiar flavor, the feeling of Sanzo filling his mouth. Then, Sanzo carded his fingers into Goku's hair, involuntarily gripping at his head, and that just dragged Goku even deeper into his pace. Goku enthusiastically pumped his fingers into Sanzo a few more times, but Sanzo was scrabbling for purchase and swearing. It wasn't going to take much more, and Goku couldn't help but get excited at the prospect of making Sanzo come undone. “Goku! G-Goku!” Sanzo let go of his hair and slapped at his shoulder. “Wait, damn you, wait!”

Goku stopped all at once, shooting Sanzo an urgent look. Sanzo groaned frustration at the sudden lack of stimulation, but gripped Goku's shirt collar. “Idiot,” he panted, and Goku saw his gaze travel between his face and his groin in a furor. “You spoil me and don't do a damn thing for yourself.” He gesticulated furiously at Goku's shirt and pants. “You haven't even taken your – take that shit off and fuck me!”

Goku kissed Sanzo in reply, briefly across the lips, then a few times down to his chest to ease him back down. “Hey, did you hear me complaining? You know you'd hear me.” He grinned cockily as he subtly guided Sanzo back onto the mattress. He'd been so absorbed with giving Sanzo his pleasure he hadn't even realized he'd gotten hard; it was all one with the thrum of arousal roaring through him. “I'll take care of it all, okay?” He wrapped his hand around Sanzo's dick and pumped it a few times, then used his free hand to grab the lubricant from the bedside table. He slicked a little over his fingers, then slid two right back into Sanzo, right back up and in. Sanzo cried out again, and Goku kissed him on the mouth to swallow it. Then, he kissed back down his chest and stomach, then took Sanzo's dick back into his mouth, right as he slid a third finger into Sanzo. Sanzo all but wailed, plaintive and needy, and Goku relished how Sanzo so easily welcomed the intrusion, as if he'd wanted nothing more than more of Goku.

Goku would give it to him. He'd take any excuse he had to give Sanzo everything he could.

Sanzo was on his brink with just a few thrusts, just one good, hard suck, and Goku could feel it coming. He crooked his fingers in, but stopped sucking Sanzo and wrapped a hand around his shaft instead, just so he could watch Sanzo come undone. His face was flushed brilliant pink, overwhelmed with the intensity of Goku's attention and keen touch, and one last, hard thrust of Goku’s fingers had him moaning, shaking, and coming all over Goku's fingers and his own belly. Goku pulled his fingers out and kissed him through his orgasm, stroking his cock with slowing little caresses as he shuddered out the aftershocks. Goku left off to let Sanzo catch his breath, studying his face, committing it to memory: the pure bliss in his relaxed brow and slack mouth, the flush in his cheeks, the way his eyes glimmered when he opened them. Sometimes, Goku understood why some thought Sanzo beautiful. The rest of the time, he was just Sanzo, and that was all that mattered.

Then, Goku cleaned Sanzo off with his tongue, and Sanzo gawked with arousal imitating fury: “You don't have to do that!” He swatted limply at Goku's hair, but Goku just licked the last of Sanzo's essence up and leaned up to kiss Sanzo on the mouth.

“Wanted to,” he murmured between kisses, then sat back a little to look into Sanzo's face again. “How's your ribs feeling? I didn't hurt ya, did I?”

Sanzo scoffed and shook his head. “No, idiot; I'm not the one hurting here.” He motioned to Goku's erection, prominent in his sleep pants. Goku chuckled a little, face hot. Damn, he'd almost forgotten, but Sanzo was still there and beautiful in front of him, his taste on his tongue, and his pulse racing, and now he couldn't ignore it.

“Um. Gimme a minute, ok?” He made to turn on the bed and work his dick out of them, but just as he got his shaft in hand, he felt Sanzo's lips on the nape of his neck, kissing right at the hairline, and Sanzo's long fingers, still quaking, joined his.

“Shut up and enjoy yourself.” Sanzo's husky voice in his ear and his chest against his back was almost enough, but a few more kisses on the neck and a few languid strokes pushed him over the top. His orgasm washed through him like comfortable white noise, like sinking into a warm bath, and he relaxed into Sanzo's waiting embrace.

“Don't be so selfless,” he muttered into Goku's skin, then pulled them back down to the bed. He kissed the join of Goku's shoulder and neck. “You know I'll never return the favor.”

“S'not a favor,” Goku countered, snuggling into the little spoon position as his heartbeat slowed. “Just doing what you need me to do.”

“You just want a reason to get all touchy-feely.” The next kiss to his ear felt a little more like a nibble.

“And you just want an excuse,” Goku yawned, and Sanzo stiffened a little. “But that's okay. I like having a reason.”

“Idiot.” The insult was toothless, as Sanzo kissed his ear again and stroked his hair. “Get some sleep. You've spent all damn day caring for me, might as well sleep the rest off.”

Goku smiled to himself and snuggled back against Sanzo. That sounded a lot like “I'll let you sleep in and eat a big breakfast, even though I'll pretend to gripe about it.” Goku loved the mornings when he got to sleep in, especially in Sanzo's arms, and he'd take an excuses, recriminations, or consequences to make them happen.


End file.
